2023 PGA Championship Bets - Plus:  Is Rory Broken? Drunk Golf, A Picture Worth A Zillion Words, and more.

2023 PGA Championship Bets - Plus: Is Rory Broken? Drunk Golf, A Picture Worth A Zillion Words, and more.

2023 PGA Championship Bets

Plus: Is Rory Broken? Drunk Golf, A Picture Worth A Zillion Words, and more.

It's Wednesday , and welcome to Shanks. Here's a fun fact for ya: Brooks Koepka has won FOUR majors more recently than either Rory McIlroy or Jordan Spieth have won one. 

Here's what we've got for ya today:

  • Doin Lines: PGA Championship

  • Is Rory Broken?

  • Drunk Golf

  • Golf Shots Heard Round The World

  • Analyze This

  • For The Group Chat

  • Golf Thing We'd Buy If We Weren't Broke

Doin Lines: PGA Championship

Breathe it in deep because there's something special in the air. No, I'm not talking about the skunk-like odor floating from my golf bag.

I'm talking about the second major of the year - The PGA Championship - starting tomorrow in New York. 

🚩 Location: Oak Hill CC, New York. 

💰 Purse: $15M - Winner gets $1.7M

👑 Previous Winner: Justin Thomas

⛳️ Field: 156

👀 Watch On: Golf Channel, CBS, ESPN+, Paramount+

Let's Gamble

Major championships bring with them major storylines and there's no shortage of them this week.

The course is new to everyone, there are former PGA Champions on both sides of the LIV divide, the Phil Mickelson sideshow, Rory's weird ass press conference, the dominance of Jon Rahm and Scottie Scheffler, and the list goes on. 

I guess it's nice to take a break from talking about Tiger every now and again. 

Let's jump in. 

The Course

Yes, the PGA Championship has been played here before, but the last time that happened was in 2013. 

Since then, they have literally re-done every single green and most bunkers. Not to mention they added about 200 yards of distance and removed over 600 trees. The bunkers are deep and penal (that's what she said? I'll show myself out) and the rough is thick. 

Of course, the journalists have been asking the players what they think of the new layout and they basically all have said the same thing: it's really hard. 

Robert McIntyre said it was the hardest course he's ever played. 

"I like it," defending PGA champion Justin Thomas said. "I love old-school golf courses. I think they can create a lot of definition to holes. It just seems like nowadays you can't really please anybody. It's like if it's tree-lined, they can't get away from the old school. But then take the trees away, it's a bomber's paradise, hit it wherever you want. It's hard to please everybody in that aspect. But it is very tough." via ESPN.

What've you done for me lately?

There are just too many factors at play this weekend to consider anything other than recent high quality play. 

So, we're gonna bet the guys who are playing the most well-rounded golf right now, because this course is set up to expose any shortcomings your game may have. 

According to The Lines: 

"..just 14 players in this field rank above-average in each of the four major SG categories (OTT, APP, ARG, P): Jon Rahm, Tony Finau, Xander Schauffele, Patrick Cantlay, Jason Day, Sungjae Im, Max Homa, Jordan Spieth, Rickie Fowler, Wyndham Clark, Chris Kirk, Hideki Matsuyama, Nick Taylor, and Adam Svensson."

💰Shanks Picks💰

Since its a major, we're going to give you three picks for each category and a little storyline to dream on. Odds via BetMGM. 

Outright Winners: 

Jon Rahm +800: The Masters champ wins the second leg of his run at a grand slam. 

Patrick Cantlay +1800: The human tortoise is the perfect figure to back for stat nerds who hate fun. 

Brooks Koepka +2000: Gotta pick at least one guy from LIV to compete and Brooks has the best track record at PGA Chamionships with 2 wins under his belt already. Maybe he makes it three?

Top Five (But Could Win Outright TBH): 

Max Homa +600: You know in your heart that this guy is going to be a major champion eventually. I can't see why he couldn't win this thing outright at +3300. 

Rickie Fowler +900: Rickie continues his comeback tour with a strong performance. 

Mito Peirara: +1800: You remember his epic collapse last year? I think he gets a little bit of redemption this year.

Top Ten:

Tommy Fleetwood +400: Rumor has it he shot a 62 at another course in NY this week.

Viktor Hovland +260: The golfer who looks the most stoned at all times seems to play his best at difficult courses. 

Talor Gooch +450: If you haven't heard from all of the LIVbots on Twitter, he's been playing well lately. 

Long Shots: 

Phil Mickelson +15000: The "I just can't help myself" bet. 

Tyrell Hatton: +4000: The "not so long longshot" bet. 

Nick Taylor +25000: The "I don't see it happening, but technically the stats say it could" pick. 

GOLF + DRINKING = ??

While perusing Twitter one evening I was ad targeted with this great study on alcohol and golf. So, thanks to Golf Digest writer, Joel Beall, we now have absolute definitive knowledge about how alcohol affects your golf game, a full five years after it was written.

I read (skimmed) the article so you don’t have to!

This test was conducted with 3 people, one with high handicap, one with mid handicap, and one with low handicap. The testers hit drives, irons, and putts and did this while sober, after two drinks, after 3-4 drinks, after 5-6 drinks, and after 7-8 drinks. 

Basically, it’s exactly what you think. Putting goes to the dumps. Beer muscles are real (“my drives go an average of 16 yards farther compared to the sober test”). Accuracy goes to the dumps (“Driving accuracy, unfortunately, went way south following four drinks”). And as people drank more, the silliness and fun increased! 

If you have 10 minutes to spare, check out the video. It’s awesome. Love that they brought in like an actual scientist to help make sense of this debauchery. 

Is Rory Broken?

For whatever reason, the PGA Tour still hasn't sent us our press passes yet, but according to reports from the Big J Journalists, Rory had a different energy about him this week. 

The last year has been a tough one. He came up short at The Open, he was thrust into the role of "face of The Tour" and clearly hated it, he missed the cut at The Masters, and then bailed on The RBC Heritage when he wasn't supposed to. 

This week, while fielding questions from the media, he said he'd not be discussing LIV Golf anymore. 

Then he gave this quote, which reads to me like a sign of resignation: 

"If I don't win another tournament for the rest of my career, I still see my career as a success, I still stand up here as a successful person in my eyes. That's what defines that."

That's not necessarily the killer instinct that leads to winning majors, though, is it?

What happened to the young phenom who was poised to snap necks and cash checks? 

Who the hell is this guy, resigned and somber, talking about an active career as if he's about to retire?

Is he mentally broken? IDK.

Maybe this is the relative calm he needs to focus. Maybe he's given up on himself. Maybe he needs to reach out to Aaron Rodgers and get some psychedelics. 

Golf Shots Heard Round The World

PAIRINGS: Tee Times and Pairings for the first two rounds of the PGA Championship. 

TOP 100:  Golfers In The PGA Championship Ranked, With Blurbs And Insider Info On Each Player.

INJURED: John Daly has withdrawn from the PGA Championship due to injury. 

Analyze This

Rory smiling adoringly at the most hated man in golf, Tour CEO Jay Monahan. 

Followed by Morikawa looking like he wishes he had a stronger drink.

Then there's Phil The Thrill, who's spent most of his downtime the last few weeks attacking the man two feet in front of him on Twitter and in the press. 

For The Group Chat

First the beetle, now a bird. 

Golf Thing We'd Buy If We Weren't Broke

Got $599.99 laying around?

Are you obsessed with representing Rochester, New York? Do you need a TaylorMade staff bag for your 10-year-old clubs? In honor of the one and only PGA Championship, which of course it set to kick off tomorrow, you can get your hands on this pretty sweet freakin’ golf bag + the accoutrements. 

The side panels reflect the flow of water, similar to that of the wealth of Rochester waterways. Four acorns along the bag symbolize the four times the event has been held at the Rochester club, each one stamped with the date of the tournament. The bag, made of fine materials, is sure to dazzle your friends on the golf course and proudly proclaims, “Look at me, I spent money on this, because there’s no way I got one from TaylorMade for being an exceptional pro golfer.”

That's all folks! See you Fridee.